Release the Grip.

Why Forgiveness is Selfish (And Perfectly Okay). TL;DR: Anger’s expensive. Let’s talk refunds.

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Ever notice how grudges feel like lugging a carry-on bag full of bricks? Here the thing though… the person who wronged you isn’t carrying that bag. You are.

In today’s edition, we’re digging into forgiveness—not because they deserve it, but because you do.

Best Finds from the Week:

  1. 🎧 Podcast Video: “The Science & Process of Healing From Grief” (Huberman Lab): Grief distorts our sense of time and space, but reflective writing and controlled breathing can help rebuild emotional resilience.

  2. 📝 Article: “7 Steps to Self-Forgiveness: Guilt is too heavy a burden to carry.” (Psychology Today): Reframing guilt as a temporary feeling, not a permanent identity, makes it easier to process and release.

  3. 🎥 Video: “The Real Risk of Forgiveness–And Why It’s Worth It” (Ted Talk by Sarah Montana): Pinpointing personal damages helps focus on specific healing rather than the broader event.

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Deep Dive - 3 Ideas & Tips…

1️⃣ Big Idea #1: Forgiveness is Selfish (And That’s Okay)

Holding a grudge might feel like justice, but it’s really just punishment—for you. Studies show that forgiving others reduces stress hormones, improves sleep, and even boosts immune function. Translation: Forgiveness is the ultimate act of self-care.

1️⃣ Little Idea #1: Stop Waiting for “Sorry”

Waiting for someone to apologize before you let go? Bad news: That apology might never come. Good news: You don’t need it. Forgiveness is a choice you make for you.

1️⃣ Practical Tip #1: The 10-Minute Forgiveness Journal

Write down what happened, how it made you feel, and what holding onto it is costing you. Then, flip the script: Write down how letting go might feel instead. This rewires your brain to focus on benefits, not blame.

2️⃣ Big Idea #2: Letting Go Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Forgiveness isn’t about erasing what happened. It’s about loosening the grip it has on your life. Think of it as decluttering your mental closet—keeping what serves you and tossing what doesn’t.

2️⃣ Little Idea #2: Create Boundaries, Not Barriers

Forgiveness doesn’t mean giving someone a free pass to hurt you again. It means deciding what access they get to your life moving forward.

2️⃣ Practical Tip #2: Visualize a “Forgiveness Box”

Imagine placing your anger or resentment in a box and locking it away. You can revisit the memory if needed, but it no longer dominates your mental space.

3️⃣ Big Idea #3: Forgiveness is a Process, Not a Switch

One-and-done forgiveness is a myth. It’s more like peeling an onion: messy, layered, and sometimes it stings. But the process is where the magic happens.

3️⃣ Little Idea #3: Progress Over Perfection

You don’t have to feel 100% ready to forgive—just 1% more open to the idea. Small steps compound into big healing.

3️⃣ Practical Tip #3: The “Forgiveness Calendar”

Set a daily intention to let go just a little. Start with 30 seconds of deep breathing while repeating, “I choose to release this.” Increase time as it gets easier.

❝

Forgiveness isn’t weak—it’s just you saying, ‘I’m too tired to carry your nonsense anymore.’🪶

Coffee Chat Questions ☕️

  • What’s one thing you’ve been holding onto that you’d feel lighter letting go of?

  • Is forgiveness about the other person, or is it more about finding peace for yourself?

  • What’s harder for you: forgiving someone else or forgiving yourself?

So…?

Forgiveness isn’t about them; it’s about reclaiming your energy, your peace, and your joy…what will you choose to let go of this week?

When you’re ready, here’s how I can help:

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  2. Share the Love: Forward this newsletter to someone who could use a nudge toward peace. If you do, I’ll send you a free emotional intelligence mastery kit (:

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❝

Holding on? Bold move, considering the rent your resentment is charging you. 🧨

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