Time-to-Read:⚡ 4-min read, 2-min skim
You ever open your eyes,
clock says 6:17 AM,
and the first words in your brain are…
not yours?
Same.
My mind loves a rerun of my inner critics greatest hits:
“Try harder,”
“Not good enough,”
“Eat breakfast first.”
🙃.
And what do you end up doing?
Scrolling through your feed with no purpose (yikes).
TL;DR: Those thoughts don’t define you.
Let’s explore why they happen and some tips to unwind them.
This Week’s Interesting find:
6 studies.
35,537 humans.
One messy, beautiful brain.
Meta-analysis finds:
Self-esteem and self-compassion are twinsies (r = 0.65)
Now that seems obvious at first.
Both slam dunk for your mental health.
Both drop stress,
boost life satisfaction,
and buffer against the “I suck” spiral.
But here’s the point:
self-compassion is actually easier to build,
and works fastest when you’re at your lowest,
not just when life’s going great.
So if you only train self-esteem,
you’re missing the upgrade that helps you get back up when life drags you through the mud.
3 Big Ideas To Hold
1️⃣ Big Idea #1:
The Inner Critic Isn’t Really “You”
(Shocker, I know)
Let’s be real.
Most of your “self-doubt” is just old software.
Mom, dad, coach, TikTok, take your pick.
Those little comments,
sideways looks,
teacher sighs,
they pile up.
Now they ruminate in your head,
dressed up in your own voice,
running the “not good enough” playlist on repeat.
2️⃣ Big Idea #2:
Brains Are Lazy
(But That’s the Feature, Not the Bug)
Brains love shortcuts.
Familiar = safe.
So your nervous system keeps auto-playing that ancient critic soundtrack,
just in case criticism = love,
or disappointment = safety.
It’s like a survival Netflix binge.
You’re not self-sabotaging.
You’re just accidentally running a prior season’s script.
3️⃣ Big Idea #3:
Identity Is a constant Draft,
Not a “I’m done” or “I’m there.”
So..here’s the part your inner critic never tells you:
You get to edit.
Tiny rewrites, daily.
One moment you flip “I’m too much” into “I’m alive, actually.”
Or you pause,
say the harsh thought in a silly cartoon voice
(try it, it’s embarrassing and it works).
Bit by bit, the old loop glitches.
You’re not stuck with yesterday’s though.
You are the author and the constant painter in the system.
So… what do you do to change that?
GREAT QUESTION YOU.
Two Micro-Actions (Not Cliche Advice)
Cartoon Roast Your Critic
Next time your inner critic comes up..
say it out loud in a ridiculous cartoon voice.
Bugs Bunny?
Valley girl?
Villain from a 90s anime?
Try not to laugh.
(You’ll probably fail. That’s the point.)
The second it gets silly, it loses power.The Post-It Plot Twist
Grab a sticky note
(yes, the neon ones hiding in that drawer).
Write down the harshest thing your brain throws at you then flip it.
See the pro to it (in moderation of course)
“You’re lazy” becomes “Actually, I recharge like a pro.”
Stick it somewhere dumb.
Your bathroom mirror, laptop, inside your fridge.
Bonus points if someone asks about it and you say,
“Oh, that? Just editing my inner playlist.”
Coffee Chat Questions to Steal ☕️
Which phrases in your head clearly do not belong to you?
How did public flop number one warp (or refine) your worth scorecard?
What would shift if your self-talk used your best friend’s tone?
Screenshot these,
send to your group chat,
or ask to someone you care about.
You’ll be surprised what comes up.
So…?
Now what?
When you’re ready,
here’s how I can help:
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Real Talk: What’s your vibe after reading this?
Who pops into your mind right now?
Message them.
warmly,
dennis
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